Which tool works best for the alcoholic or their codependent family member: the carrot or the stick?
Answer: NEITHER.

Alcoholism is a brutal teacher. For the alcoholic, “the carrot” is the dream, the job back, the family healed, the peace of a sober mind. “The stick” is the consequence—the DUI, the wrecked relationships, the shame spiral. But here’s the problem: neither one works for long. No amount of hope or pain can keep an alcoholic sober if their mind keeps whispering, “this time will be different.”

Codependents? Same trap, different flavor.

The carrot is the hope that this time your love will save them. That if you can just say the right thing, hide the bottles, control the chaos, they’ll get better.
The stick is everything you suffer in silence: the lies, the sleepless nights, the fear, the slow erosion of your self-worth.

You chase peace. You get pain. You hold on tighter. That’s the insanity.

So, how does one go about achieving a total shift in perspective?
When you’re caught in this loop, it’s easy to lose hope. The solutions that used to work no longer do. Logic fails. Willpower burns out. You’re left with a choice: keep doing what’s not working, or try something radically different.

So…if a radical change of perspective is required, how does one go about beginning this process?

Stay tuned.
It’s about finding freedom, one step at a time.